In no way is this post written from an “I’ve arrived” mindset. I am in the trenches of this idea and this work, daily grappling with its meaning for my life. So, I’m not here with advice…I’m in this place with you.
The idea of trusting my body makes me go 😳😳😳. I’ve spent my entire life trying to control it, never trusting it, feeling betrayed by it on regular occasion. But when I stop and think of ALL THE WAYS we are taught to deny what we feel, is it any wonder?
“You can’t be hungry, you just ate lunch.”
“Feelings aren’t rational.”
“Maybe you should get that checked out.”
“There’s nothing to be angry about.”
“Just ignore it.”
“You’re not busy enough if you have time to notice that.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“Only married people can have sex.”
“Follow this diet.”
“Take this prescription.”
“Set your alarm.”
The list goes on and on. Don’t even get me STARTED on the ways we are taught to deny our bodies when it comes to sexual pleasure and physical intimacy.
I mean, geez! There are entire industries devoted to eliminating symptoms and numbing sensations, perpetuating our already regular thoughts of “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
I am so far from where I want to be in terms of trusting my body. (✌🏻 just keeping it real.) But I’m awake to the truth that…
…every knot in my throat
…every upset stomach
…every heavy eye
…every gut clinch
…every tense muscle
…every deep breath
…every collapsing rib
…every racing pulse
…every heart flutter
…every internal “yippee!” or “hell no”
…they all mean something.
Our bodies are temples of wisdom, not machines to control. All the years we spend praying for signs and looking for billboards…our bodies already know.