Book Review: THE DANCE OF ANGER by Harriet Lerner

Book 6 of 2021: THE DANCE OF ANGER by @harriet_lerner. ⠀
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Wow. ⠀
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This book got my pulse throbbing. ⠀
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If you are a woman and/or feel at all connected to Enneagram 2 or 9, I cannot recommend this book enough. But with a warning that it will shake your inner shit UP. ⠀
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Remember the other day when I talked about coming home to my creative, grey, authentic self? And I said I didn’t fully realize how much I suppressed parts of me in order to feel loved and accepted and normal?⠀
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Well, my body knew what was happening, even if I turned a blind eye and a deaf ear and any other avoidance tactic. And the result is a whole lot of anger stored physically and emotionally inside me. ⠀
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Anger I’ve been afraid of my entire life. Anger I’ve hidden because I thought it made me impure. Anger I masked because it made me feel unfeminine. Anger I pushed away because I didn’t understand it. ⠀
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“My life is wonderful! I have no reason to be angry!”⠀
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And thinking about it just made me angrier. I did not understand and felt like I needed to. ⠀
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During the past year or so, I’ve come to understand. I’ve come to ALLOW myself to understand. (The phrase “get out of your own way” applies to me BIG.)⠀
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“Although “nice ladies” are not very good at feeling angry, we may be great at feeling guilty. As with depression or feeling hurt, we may cultivate guilt in order to blot out the awareness of our own anger… Nothing, but nothing, will block the awareness of anger so effectively as guilt and self-doubt.” (p.6-7)⠀
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I’m at a place where understanding takes a back seat to accepting and allowing and harnessing. I picked up this book at exactly the right spot in my process. It’s been on my list for almost a year, and BOOM. It landed. ⠀
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I found the first half more impactful than the second, personally, but so much of that is based on personal experience. If you read it, let me know what you think! ⠀
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Overall rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫